PAUL MCARTNEY SPECIFYS PREREQUISITS FOR NEW GIRLFRIEND

Perez Travellodge exclusively reveals what Macca requires of his new girlfriend. We asked Paul how many legs his new girlfriend must have. The picture below says it all..........

© PerezTravellodge – 2008

For the avoidance of doubt, anything stated in the above post is written without prejudice; is probably completely uninformed opinion, and definitely just a figment of my imagination. Readers should either ignore, treat with contempt, or simply accept the spirit it is written in.

COLDPLAYS CHRIS MARTIN PRESENTS A 21st CENTURY MASTERPIECE: “ QUO TO GO “

Yes folks, the prince of prance is back with a show that is a feast of entertainment, quite literally!
Chris has combined his love of popular beat combo Status Quo with his passion for Fast Food takeaways.

Marvell at Martins moving rendition of the classic ‘Your in the Army now’ whilst dressed as a Quarter Pounder with cheese meal.

Swoon at the ever popular “living on an Island” as Chris pretends to be a Fillet‘O’ Fish (for my vife).

Sing along with Chris’s Jungle / Garage remix of the masterpiece “Rockin all over the world”, during which he will unveil his latest creation….The Chris Martin Nicam Stereo McChicken Sandwich stealth suit.

Chris Martins “Quo to Go” starts tomorrow night at the Exeter Women’s Institute.

Admission is strictly limited to those over 35 stone


(please note Chris probably does not like takeaways)

© PerezTravellodge – 2008

For the avoidance of doubt, anything stated in the above post is written without prejudice; is probably completely uninformed opinion, and definitely just a figment of my imagination. Readers should either ignore, treat with contempt, or simply accept the spirit it is written in.

GARRY GLITTER'S CHINEESE TAKEAWAY

Convicted Glam pop star and junior knicker ferret Garry Glitter is Back home in the UK, and my,my,my how we have missed him!!!!!

He was spotted leaving a Chineese resturant in London by our shite 70's star/pervert correspondent Brian Subway-Footlong.

Glitter stated " I am innocent, it was a set up, leave me alone I want to enjoy my takeaway in peace, this has been upseting". Peodphiles have feelings too.

It is believed he had orderd Special sumyoungirl and noodles.




Next week Brian Subway-Footlong will be bothering Jonothan King and Michael (allwight) Barrymoor.


© PerezTravellodge – 2008

For the avoidance of doubt, anything stated in the above post is written without prejudice; is probably completely uninformed opinion, and definitely just a figment of my imagination. Readers should either ignore, treat with contempt, or simply accept the spirit it is written in.

BUCKINGHAM PALACE TO GET DRIVE THROUGH

Would one like fries with that?

As the credit crunch hits us all, the Royal Family have taken steps to increase its cash flow.

The queen has granted herself planning permission to open a drive through fast food emporium at the gates of Buckingham Palace. McWindsors is due to open as early next week.

To keep costs down Her Royal Highness will take on the role of restaurant manager, it is believed that Prince Edward will accept the position of Modern Apprentice (similar to the old YTS scheme).

As well as serving the usual range of cheese burgers etc, in keeping with Royal tradition for a limited period, hungry visitors can enjoy Lizzys quarter pounder Swan burger.

If burgers aren’t your thing, try “Phil the Greeks” Kebab stall ,situated at the rear of the Palace.







© PerezTravellodge – 2008

For the avoidance of doubt, anything stated in the above post is written without prejudice; is probably completely uninformed opinion, and definitely just a figment of my imagination. Readers should either ignore, treat with contempt, or simply accept the spirit it is written in.